Octolilly

If the you of today could go back in time and give advice to any of the previous yous, which age would you visit and what would you tell them? – Kristen

Dear 9 Year Old Me:

It’s 4th grade and you are miserable. Whether you want to admit it or not, your generally fussy attitude towards everything may very well stem from Portrait Day. It’s fate, darling. You will wear a poofy-sleeved dress with pearls and you will look completely out of place.

A boy named Russ will drive you bonkers and before you know it, you will want to hit him so badly. I’m warning you, little one. If you slap him so hard that you leave a handprint on his face – he will not forget it. You will be enemies.

However, you and he will rediscover each other in the middle of a store at age nineteen and all will be forgiven.

Dear 11 Year Old Me:

You and your mom will trudge up the basement stairs with bags of groceries. You push a rolling chair into the kitchen and stand on it so you can put the canned goods away. The chair slips, you fall, and as you lie in the floor and whimper about your bruised hip, the phone rings.

Papa is much worse so your mom decides to head to the hospital while you carefully put the rest of the groceries away.

Your hip gets better and before you know it, you find yourself grooving to country music in the living room. It’s not the music we listen to at home but it makes you feel alive (HONEY LET’S JUST TAKE A MOMENT HERE – FIND SOME BETTER MUSIC) so you are whirling, twirling, and spinning in glee when you hear a knock at the door.

Someone will be on your front step with the news of your Papa’s death. Your heart will be broken because not only is he your Papa, he’s the most wonderful Papa a granddaughter could ever want.

Sweetie, you are going to be burdened with guilt for years. No, God is not punishing you for listening to country music by killing your Papa. It’s not your fault. Not at all.

Dear 13 Year Old Me:

In between sucking on jolly rancher sticks at Late Stay in Junior High, you will find yourself imitating Pantene shampoo commercials with your friends. You’ll line up against the brick wall, watch the boys play basketball, and Try To Flirt.

Yes, you’ll master the hair toss but you will look like such a dork. And when your hair gets stuck on the jolly rancher stick you’re sucking on…well, really. You’re sort of asking for it.

No, you’re flirting won’t get much better. And please, for the love of all that is good and pure, STOP SHAVING YOUR EYEBROWS.

Dear 14 Year Old Me:

When someone suggests that everyone in the group should try to steal something from the campus book store, could you please stop and use your brain for a second? I don’t care that the stuffed pig is adorable and that the boy you are crushing on has taken to whispering French words in your ear. Both are bad news.

You will face peer pressure on a really large scale this year. And you’ll find yourself in a huge mess, lose many friendships, and sweetie, you’re going to really break your parents’ hearts. You will watch your parents have to choose whether to turn their daughter in for doing something illegal or whether to cover it all up. And when they turn you in, you will feel abandoned.

But after being kicked out of school, working all summer to pay restitution for everything you stole, and spending a lot of quality time with your parents, you will realize that this year is the game changer. You will become incredibly close to your family and you will finally catch a glimpse of how much they truly love you.

Dear 16 Year Old Me:

You are closing the chapter on your brief bout of homeschooling and adventuring back to the Academy. And you are nervous about making friends.

One girl, Kerry, is going to take you under her wing and you’ll be the best of friends. You really have no idea how special this girl is but she will put up with your crazy and deal it right back to you time and time again.

You’ll crush on the ushers in the FMA, you’ll swoon over operas, you’ll watch movies at her house and long for another era. You’ll find yourself joining a society where it’s acceptable to thread yarn through the clothes of a large group of people.

But most of all, you’ll realize that some friendships really do last throughout the years. You have already seen some friendships fall apart and you have no idea of the people who will walk out of your life in the next few years but Kerry, she’s different. She’ll be there all along.

Even when your politics start to differ and even when you disagree on things that are so very dear to our hearts – each time you see each other, it all melts away. As it should.

She’s a gem. Appreciate her.

Dear 18 Year Old Me:

You’re going to meet a boy this year. And you will have some amazing times. But you’ll realize it’s not meant to be.

I just wish you could choose another day to break up with him. You know, NOT April Fool’s Day.

And then when you get back together a few months later and discover that it’s still not meant to be?

You really, really, really should NOT break up with him on April Fool’s Day. Again.

You’re a piece of work, missy.

Dear 22 Year Old Me:

You know those dreams you are having right now? Where you get behind on all of your school projects and don’t finish in time to graduate from college?

Guess what? YOU MAKE IT. You get everything done and you actually graduate!

However, you still have those dreams for years afterwards. I’m so sorry.

Dear 23 Year Old Me:

You met The Boy. He is MARRYING you next year. You’ll have your beautiful winter wedding. Everything will be dreamy.

And you’ll boldly tell him two things upon engagement: “you must join my church and we must never leave South Carolina.”

Dear, he never joins. And then you move away to Pennsylvania. And then to Michigan. You’re with the Yankees now! And churchless! And even though those two things are what is important to you right now, and you can’t imagine ever being happy otherwise, you are going to be just fine.

Take a deep breath as you start out on this new journey. And remember that you are two for the road.

At the same time, they can also appreciate the fact that each of them will change on this journey – as surely as the terrain transforms beneath their feet. Dark nights, heavy loads, long winds, and the heat of the day have a way of shaping one’s soul. They will begin to see things through new eyes. They will find a pace that suits them both. They will adjust to weaknesses – whether of bone or sinew, or of the heart. They will develop attitudes and attributes significantly different from the way they viewed things at the trailhead.

Dear 26 Year Old Me:

You’re about to become a mother. And in a whirlwind moment, you’ll realize that you know nothing and you can’t imagine how your parents did it.

The first year of Drew’s childhood is going to be hazy. You don’t know much about post-partum depression but you are about to discover how overwhelming it all is.

But you will make it. Thankfully, you’ve been blessed with an easy baby, and The Boy is taking care of you both. Your friends and family are loving you the best they know how and you really just need to soak it all up.

Little Tiny Drew is going to grow into the most wonderfully mischievous boy ever and you’re going to have the time of your life. Remember how your mother always said you needed to learn patience? Well, you may not master it anytime soon but you are about to start on an adventure wherein patience is most necessary.

Mothering is not for the weary.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

What are three things you are better at than most people? – Catie

This prompt is causing me way more consternation than it should. I can’t think of anything that I do better than most people.

CUE SAD MUSIC.

So I’m going to go eat my turkey sandwich and try to be proud that I’m so average.

/sniffle

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

What is the best and/or worst thing about your life right now? – Dana

The Best: Waking up to two people who love me. Snuggling. Dancing to Christmas music in the kitchen. Then hating the Christmas music and begging for something different. Baking in the morning. Making sweet tea and watering it down so the tiny boy isn’t dancing TOO much. Turning on the dryer so wrinkles in my t-shirt will disappear. Planning the gingerbread house. Friends coming over so I can judge new outfits. Folding blankets over and over because I love to fold them. Not caring if someone rearranges all the ornaments on the tree because “the dinosaurs don’t like it.” Drinking coffee while talking about what marriage means to us. Bath-time for Bonzo and acting surprised when he plants toy “seeds” and GASP, toys grow from the bubbles! Putting on the apron because the kitchen is a disaster and hard work soothes my idle hands. Kissing in the hallway while I search for the 409.

The Worst: Waking up to more bad dreams about chasing murderers through the pews at some church. Too much Christmas music. Knowing that I won’t be drinking sweet tea come New Years when I start the squishy no more project. The piles of laundry that I need to wash. The lack of free-time with my husband because he works All The Time. Feeling like a single parent too often. Imagining what life would really be like if I was a single parent. Crying because single parents are so much stronger than I am. Wishing I could emotionally let people get a bit closer than I do.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

What was your favorite children’s book? – Niki

I love to read and have felt this way since I was a little girl. Growing up in a home with books everywhere will do that to you. It’s a way to escape to another world, gain knowledge, and imagine.

Children are made readers on the laps of their parents. – Emilie Buchwald

{The Fairy Tale by Sir Walter Firle – I first saw this painting at my in-law’s home. I’d love to hang this in a home library.}

I can’t remember the picture books I read when I was very small (even though we read constantly). But I do remember my absolute favorite books from my childhood: the Betsy-Tacy series by Maud Hart Lovelace.

The stories are set in the fictional town of Deep Valley, Minnesota in the late 19th and early 20th century. You follow the adventures of Betsy Ray and her family and friends from the time that Betsy turns five until she is in her early twenties. There are ten books in all (and three related novels) and I read these over and over and over and over as a child. At some point I got rid of them (WHY??) but they have continued to be my favorite childhood books.

I remember their selling sand, climbing The Bill Hill, making paper dolls, Little Syria, having picnics, cutting their hair, finally having two numbers in their age, all the school dances, falling in love, the blank notebooks and writing in the trees, dime novels, Uncle Tom’s Cabin at the opera, the gypsies, Betsy’s attempts to be mysterious and alluring, sororities, traveling in Europe, and World War I.

I must say, I’m getting emotional just remembering all of this. Gah! Let me go look on Amazon real quick.

Okay, $80.06 and you can buy all ten novels (plus the other three). I may have to do this soon. I would really love to have them all again.

On the subject of reading, my mom and I still exchange children’s books. In 2004, she gave me Mama, If You Had a Wish. It was poignant because I was struggling with worries about whether her love for me was contingent on certain things.

“Mama,” asked Little Bunny, “if you had a wish, would you wish I never cried?”

“No, Little Bunny,” answered Mama, “but it does make me sad to see you cry.”

“Would you wish I was brave all the time, and never got scared of anything?”

“No, Little Bunny,” said Mama. “We all get scared sometimes.”

“What about when I get mad at you?” asked Little Bunny. “Would you wish I never did that?”

“No, Little Bunny,” said Mama. “I love you when you are mad at me, and I love you when you are not.”

“I bet I know what would you wish,” said Little Bunny. “You would wish I never made any mistakes.”

“No, Little Bunny,” said Mama, “I love you no matter how many mistakes you make.”

“Even big giant mistakes?” “Even big giant mistakes.”

“Well, said Little Bunny, “you probably would wish I looked different, wouldn’t you?”

“No, Little Bunny,” said Mama. “I wouldn’t wish you to look any different than you do.”

Little Bunny was quiet for a moment. “Mama, if you could make one wish about me, what would it be?”

“I would wish for you to be yourself,” said Mama, “because I love you just the way you are.”

The book grabbed my soul. I wept. We both did. And it has forever been a treasure to me. I read it with my own child now and whisper the words when he falls asleep.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

Why blog? Why do you or why do you like to blog (recognizing that these are not always the same thing)? – Kristen

I enjoy it! It’s therapeutic, a creative outlet, and a way to record my life for posterity’s sake. I’ve met friends around the world (and married one of them) through blogging. I really love the community. We all have stories and we become better together when we share them.

And I suppose at the end of the day, I feel less alone.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

Who or what makes you laugh so hard that milk shoots out of your nose and why? Slapstick, dry witty comedy, your kids, Monty Python? – Kassie

If you’d seen me around ten o’clock last night, you would have realized that my husband is the one who cracks me up the most. He was leaping around the living room doing Really Weird Stuff and I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard.

I just love a really good laugh. Tears streaming, high-pitched noises, a small bit of drool. It’s all good.

I hold SNL very dear to my heart. Daniel and I watch it every Saturday night and I really miss having Steve and Cassidy here to watch with us. My favorite cast members are Kristin Wiig and Bill Hader. I adore them.

Eddie Izzard also makes me laugh for hours. He’s absolutely brilliant, an amazing mime, and his noises are just spectacular. I do wish he still cross-dressed regularly.

I’m also a huge fan of Louis C.K. He’s the king of self-deprecating humor. He’s not very family-friendly (very little of this post is, I suppose) but he talks about real life in such a way that you want to cry and laugh all at the same time.

Obviously, we all have our favorite TV shows that make us laugh but the two shows that have made me laugh the ENTIRE time are Arrested Development and The IT Crowd.

Other milk-shooting-out-of-my-nose-funny-things:

- Overdue
- My mom and I trying to hold severe grimaces on our faces for so long that our neck muscles hurt for days
- Taping a cup of water to the bathroom door so that my mom would be soaked when she opened it but then being completely soaked when she slammed it shut after seeing my dad and I giggling
- Awkward Family Photos
- America’s Funniest Home Videos
- Hyperbole and a Half
- Crappy Pictures

I just need to end this post now, don’t I?

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

List 10 things you would never do. – Katrina

Really? Just ten things? Does this mean if I don’t include it on this list then I WILL do it at some point? Because I plan on never chopping all of my finger tips off. I also don’t think I’ll gargle with buttermilk at any point in my life. And I really doubt that I’ll ever attempt to milk a spider.

I can keep going. Well, actually, I’m going to need to sit and recover after thinking about milking a spider.

Here are my ten things that have Glaring Red Flags attached to them:

1. Get Lasik surgery. I know people who have had it and LOVE it. But for me, the minor inconvenience of wearing glasses or contacts will never outweigh the possible complications from the surgery.

2. Become a hoarder. Although I do enjoying watching the show (and the immediate cleaning spree that follows), I could never live like that. I don’t have that much sentimentality towards the things I do have so I will never have piles of magazines, cards, porcelain dolls, or trash just because I can’t part with it. I can actually part with things a little too easy. I deleted 20 GB of music off my hard-drive a few days ago (cue fight with Daniel!) after needing some space. I did regret that the next day though.

3. Skydive. Once again, I know people who have done this and you can just see their eyes sparkling. They had a blast. But I know I would have a panic attack on the plane and probably pass out. I’m all for zip-lining and parasailing but no skydiving.

4. Get into a tanning bed. I’m as pale as a piece of paper and normally wear translucent makeup. I’m happy being pale! Having a tan is not worth skin cancer.

5. Stop eating fried okra. Thankfully, my family introduced me to fried okra when I was a wee lass. The best way to eat it is to spread it on the inside of a biscuit (with a bit of mashed potatoes). Who’s the girl trying to lose weight? Yes, that’s me! I’ll raise my hand!

6. Go to a Nascar event. There is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever spend time watching cars race around a track with a crowd of drunk rednecks. This may be a problem though because my son loves spinning, wheels, spinning, wheels, spinning, and did I mention wheels? I’m not planning on telling him about Nascar for a long time. Shhhh.

7. Dress up as a puppet. It took me years to get over my aversion to puppets. But to actually pretend to BE ONE? Let me go lie down with a cold washcloth on my face. I’m about to catch the vapors.

8. Smoke a cigarette. The smell of cigarettes makes me gag. I know it’s one of the hardest things to quit so I’m glad I never tried smoking.

9. Scream at my child in public: I’m not talking about screaming because he’s about to run in front of a fork lift at Home Depot. I’m talking about “disciplining” in the middle of the grocery store. I’ve seen this happen three times and each time I wanted to swoop in and rescue the child. It was absolutely horrible. Maybe that little boy was being a complete snot and had bugged his mom all day and maybe the mom had just lost her job, was suffering with a migraine, and limping along on a broken toe but none of those things justify screaming at the top of your lungs to your five year old son. Especially over the fact that he accidentally bumped into you again.

10. Enjoy scary movies: Nope. Nope. Nope. I can barely handle Doctor Who at times. I watch it – I just watch it behind a pillow. I’m not the only one, right? Right? Hello?

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.